Ciborski's guide to remote Debian installation over SSH

TL;DR: give me the ISO

debian-9.6.0-amd64-netinst-over-ssh.iso (291M) - remastered USB compatible version of Debian 9 ISO. Ready to flash to your USB. UEFI and BIOS compatible

1. Flash the ISO to USB
2. Plug USB to target computer and reboot
3. Wait for 2 mins and check for the remote computer IP address
4. SSH to the IP with user installer, password root

Result

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in microwave

Seriously, Debian guides on the web are misleading and outdated

• MAAS - is some Ubuntu/CentOS bullshit not capable of remotely installing Debian out of the box.

  It's actually a PXE server but they don't say it straight. You have to go through incomprehensible marketing bullshit and taste it yourself

  It only allows you to boot a distro over PXE, and if you have a proper ISO, then MAAS will automatically install it. Turns out that there are not too many available..

  Here's some guide that I did not work for me. It's useless anyway so whatever...

• This guide for CD remastering

• Trying to understand how debian-installer works

• Some mailing list on keyboard preseeding topic

• Fucking confusing example-preseed that doesn't preseed keyboard

• keyboard preseeding - because nowadays you should use "auto" boot param

• Great fucking article on UEFI that doesn't explain how it works in debian ISO. Fucking great.. thanks guys

  it turns out that there are 2 bootloaders on debian ISO

  • for UEFI
  • for BIOS
  and they are separate from each other...

  Info on how badly is it fucked up is here

  TL;DR GRUB and ISOLINUX are both used in Ubuntu live CD for exclusive reasons; Both were included in live CD for better boot experience and hardware support.

• another bloated guide - helped with xorriso but nothing else. and is so fucking complex
• Debian Installer Modify CD - just useless and misleading
• Debian Installer Network Console - another misleading trap
• Debian Installer Preseed - more bullshit
• Network install from a minimal CD Network Install promise? Network? Change your fucking wording so it does not resemble remote install
• 6.1. How the Installer Works - that's a joke. No word about UEFI or BIOS and booting. How the hell am I going to guess this?
• Prevent Language selection at ubuntu installation - doesn't work bullshit
• Simple-CDD Howto - JUST DOES NOT BOOT USB. FUCK YOU
• DebianCustomCD - easy as 1,2,3... 4 year old could do it... sure.. yeah... carry on
• Installing Debian remotely using the network console - another promising title that doesnt work
• Debian Installation Over SSH (Lenny RC1) - what? remote installation but you need a monitor? I thought the whole point of it was being remote and over SSH
• https://github.com/mfherbst/debian-preansible/blob/master/add_preseeds_to_iso.sh
• https://serverfault.com/questions/109601/remote-reinstall-of-linux-over-ssh
• https://blog.sleeplessbeastie.eu/2015/10/12/how-to-install-debian-remotely/
• https://superuser.com/questions/688220/how-to-install-ubuntu-on-debian-headless-server
• https://github.com/duplicati/duplicati/wiki/Headless-installation-on-Debian-or-Ubuntu
• https://unix.stackexchange.com/questions/416564/headless-boot-and-install-on-same-usb-device
• https://www.reddit.com/r/linux/comments/1mf18o/is_a_debianubuntu_headless_install_really_this/
• https://sowhatisthesolution.wordpress.com/2016/03/13/headless-debian-install-via-ssh/
• https://shaunfreeman.name/blog/gigabyte-brix-bxbt-1900-not-booting-without-monitor-on-ubuntu-minimal-16-04

What did work

• using brain

• reading debian installer manual carefully - Debian GNU/Linux Installation Guide

  WHAAAAT? Are you insane???! This manual is not easily consumable by humans. But yeah, I went through it. Especially this part was important. Buy me a beer

• guessing how GRUB2 and SYSLINUX bootloaders work and patching them in /iso/syslinux/ and /iso/boot/

Proper guide on how to do this

Brb, need to get a coffe first

Inspired by the geniuses behind bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com and Edward Morbius's motherfucking website.